Dids

1.James Jobling (C)
2.Yaz Howells (wk)
3.Nitin
4.Amir Saddique
5.Dion Leonard
6.Lee Cauldwell
7.Neil Appleton
8.Doc
9.Juan Pardo
10.Hemel the Hemp
11.Hussain.

    And so we rolled up - in so many ways; and some later than others. Not the easiest ground to find. Lee's satnav may need re-calibrating but then so does mine, and I ain't even got one - as Dion will testify. I live in Manchester yet still managed to get lost 3 times on the way home from the game.
    No idea who won the toss as I was busy moving the car away from the short offside boundary, but we fielded first. Lee and Dion opened up - clinically. Knack-all runs, 14/18-ish (?) overs, 4 great wickets for Celine and a short, sharp  verbalisation of his displeasure at literally falling short of a five-fer. If only he were a three feet taller, though trousers might be a problem. Lee was unlucky again but helped to build pressure with some great team bowling. Not sure of his figures but his economy must have been better than Iceland's - and there's only one of him. I know who I'd back in a fight.
    And so to fielding. 
    I'm a fine one to talk, and led the way with patenting a new kind of catching - the kind where you flollop forward, almost spill the ball then slip onto your back in an ungainly fashion and allow the cherry to roll to a stop on your chest before allowing relief to flood in. Lee followed suit with a subtle variation on the theme; flolloping forward; almost spilling the ball before slipping onto his back in an ungainly fashion and catching the ball on his chest; before allowing relief to flood in. Sneaky weasal. And then Jobbers topped the lot by combining sport and spirituality in a most unexpected fashion with his Falling Lotus - a cross between a meditating Buddhist grandmaster and Del Boy where he leans and falls through the freshly raised bar flap - with soft hands.
    Anyway we held onto pretty much everything and got away with it (Yaz took a blinder) but next time we might not. Catching practice, anyone?
    A  fallow period then ensued, if you can say that when it lasted about four overs. I was fantasising about the potential quality of the teas when the introduction of Hemel snapped me back to reality. Three quick wickets for him and a couple for  Hussain - a vicious lifter probably the ball of the day; and wasted on a tailender - and a suicidal run-out which prompted an immediately suspicious Chris Broad to phone William Hills to check for unusual betting patterns. Finally Juan came onto bowl for his fortnightly fix and his first ball loosener-cum-slow-hop gave our tapas loving friend the last wicket; leaving him like the bunny who wakes up at Christmas to find all his Easters have gone at once.  All out for 72 off 32 overs.

 Batting
 We knocked them off  in 20 odd overs for the loss of one wicket (me) - Amir carrying his bat for 15 and Nitin attempting boundaries rather than running. Johnny Extras contributed but it wasn't really a sporting contest. Good-natured oppos and a young team.   
Where are we next week? Answers on a beer mat ...   

Quote of the day (Juan):     "I'm not used to rolling team's over like that. It feels weird - in a good way."

2nd Quote of the day
(Three guesses):                    "Strewth mate your sense of direction's worse than a sheila's." 

*** 

Match Rpt - Sun 14th June. Didsbury IV vs Hale Barns

Didsbury team was:

1.James Jobling (C)
2.Luke FitzMaurice (wk)
3.Nick
4.Amir Saddique
5.Ahmed Khan
6.Nitin
7.Neil Appleton
8.Doc
9.Jack
10.Bradders
11.Lee Cauldwell

A beautiful day and as play approached worries about who brought the sun cream were soon overshadowed by worrying over the usually popular pre-match Ahmed Khan Euro Millions sweepstake. Depressingly few participants had meant a correspondingly meagre kitty for the weekly will-he-won't-he-well he's never let us down yet so I'll have a quid at 1.48 gamblefest. As a result the next home match is a rollover. Rollover realise what the time is then amble in to the ground with ten minutes to spare. It doesn't matter though, cos he's a good lad and he can twat the ball miles ...

Hale won the toss and elected to bat on the flat strip that seems to follow us and everyone else all over the square. Lee Cauldwell opened from the Radioactive end, bowling at a lively pace; Mr Appleton from the tenements, with, er, less. T20 it wasn't, with singles and nurdles mingling to  squirt the occasional four. A short offside boundary meant the opposition chose to ignore it  completely and give Bradley lots of exercise instead by running most of their first 25 overs in his direction. Anyway, yah di yah di yah I'm not working for the Guardian it wasn't the most thrilling 45 we've ever spent but the fact remains that wickets were winkled, 2 run outs were snatched (cheers Bradders) and they inched up to 200 - all out on the last ball. Lee C 16 overs 3 wickets, Neil 3 from 14, Jobbers and Amir got one (and was even heard to speak) and Jack got one too. An alarming number of runs given away in the field but some beautiful weather and nice teas thrown in. Coronation chicken, if you please.

It was still nice bathing weather when Luke and Nick opened up. Thunderous drives, pigeons in the outfield, muppets on the bus with nothing new to say, the crash of ash - twice - and then Amir and Ahmed arrived to the crease to allow everyone else to put their feet up (apart from Doc and Bradders - cheers fellas we need to sort that out).More clean, hard hitting from Ahmed; booming drives, rapier cuts and shots all round the park whilst Amir played the foil and resisted the urge to play the spoons. Thankfully our cries of  "Head down Ahmed" were once again caught in the non-existent crosswind and translated into 'Hit it harder and further and hurry up for f***'s sake the taxis waiting'.

The Big A played superbly for 98 (soz m8 - didn't realise) as did Amir for his first senior fifty - really quality knock. Both finished not out. Super. 194 for 2, opposition seemed nice, Didsbury get however many points and I got loads of sun. Wicked.

Play of the Day: The attempted run out by the opposition bowler … using his shin bone to return Ahmed's full blooded drive back onto his stumps from half way down the pitch. That's gotta hurt. It did and he retired ... Ouch.

Quote of the day: "The table's collapsed." Jack-in-the-(score)box.

Away next week at Bredbury. Nice ground, short boundaries. Are you listening Ahmed?